Wish me luck and send me good juju

I was laid off today.

And if I didn’t need the money, I wouldn’t care at all.  But I do.  Need the money.

Since I’m not going to work for a bit, I wish it was summertime.  I would be in Maine with a big stack of books by the weekend.

I find alarm clocks to be quite uncivilized.  When I got home, I went upstairs to get the dog out of his crate, and the very next thing I did after setting him free was to turn the alarm off.  My dog was happy to see me and he’ll be even happier in the A.M. when I don’t leave him.

I can blog every day if I want.

I need to work on Linked-in .

If I had just a little extra money, just a little, I’d pack up my dog and my car and head to Florida for a couple of weeks/months.  But the economy has been unkind to me over the last few years and I am out of money.  All the way out.  Goddammitalltohell.  Maybe I can sell something.  I have stuff.  Laughing.  But not too much.  I’m serious.  Kind of.  Anyone want service for 12 – Old Country Roses with tons of extra pieces.  And quite a bit of Waterford Crystal – pattern Kildare?  And jewelry – I can make you a deal.  I have an extra fridge in the basement – great for keeping your beer cold.  I’m laughing at this but I do have stuff to sell.  Craig’s List here I come.

My friend Susie is a very good friend.  She came right over this afternoon with coconut decaf iced coffee and flowers.  I am lucky to have her.

I wish I could retire.

Once I was unemployed for a very long time – 20 months.  When I was feeling desperate, I sat and looked around my condo and asked myself if I lost everything, would it matter?  I thought about what I would want to have, to keep, what was important to me.  I looked at everything on the first floor and the only thing I really really cared about was my dog.  I still feel the same way.  That is very liberating.

When I was 40, I had cancer.  I lived.  Apparently.  I know what is important.  Really truly important.  Again.  Liberating.

I hope I don’t lose my condo.  I don’t want to have to do this but I think I’m going to look for a roommate.  It would help a great deal.  Anyone know anyone?

I finished my Literacy Volunteers training last week and I went over there tonight for my observation.  I left with the names of my students.  I’m excited and nervous.  I want to do a good job at this.  It’s important.

Perhaps I will take this opportunity to clean the basement and strip the wallpaper in my living room and just paint everything a nice peaceful off-white color like the rest of this place.  I really hate the wallpaper.  Lots.

I’m going to try really really really hard to stay positive.

I’m going to go to bed soon and read my book.  I’m going to get up in the morning and make coffee and then lists and phone calls and a plan.

Wish me luck and send me good juju.


14 thoughts on “Wish me luck and send me good juju

  1. Susan ~~
    You have an amazing spirit and are well-grounded. Please don’t loose either of those. You can always advertise for a roomy on Craigslist and put them through an obstacle course to be approved. Just make sure the ad says 40’s-50’s, tall, dark, handsome, likes to read, take long walks, loves to have his face licked in the morning, hold an interesting conversation or just say nothing at all, wine?
    I will keep you on my good juju and karma list for sure. Hugs <3<3

  2. I hate that you don’t have rich parents and we can’t help. You’ve worked so hard and done so well on your own; it hardly seems fair that you get dealt the bad hand so often. Dad and I are here to help you in any way we can. For starters give me the damn cell phone bill and let us carry you for a while. You are bright and talented and have a good work ethic. Somebody will snap you up. Your parents love you. Let us know if we can do anything to help.

  3. Fine! Your friend, Susan, can say good stuff and you thank her. I say good stuff and you say I have to say it. Not true! I meant every word. And whether you like it or not, I am praying for you.

    • OK OK Already. Thank you very much. And I don’t mind if you like to pray. I don’t believe it does anything but I know it brings comfort to some people and I”m all about comfort. So do it I say.

  4. Susan – want to say much, but the only thing that comes up is “this sucks and you don’t deserve a moment of this anxiety and worry.”

    As for your mom’s post, let me just provide a different POV. Not everyone’s mom would respond that way. You lucked out in the family who cares lotto.

    Keep you in my thoughts and will start to imagine income opportunities for you.

    • Thanks Maria. I woke up today all fired up. Now I just want a nap. I’ll have to find a happy medium. I’m not so good at gray. More of a black and white type chick. This does suck and it isn’t easy. And I am very grateful for all who care.

  5. I am in shock! I missed you the minute I found out and I didn’t even get a last hug. It isn’t fair that someone gets dealt a bad hand over and over. Each day when you get up and when you go to bed reflect on what is truly important. You are strong and I am going to put only positive thoughts out there that this is a good door opening up. I wish you luck and I am sending you good juju. Keep writing I thoroughly enjoy it.

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