My New Year’s Resolution

This one will be short and sweet.  I reread and even though I feel it sounds a little cranky my dear reader, it should be interpreted more as ironic.

I’m too fat so I should vow to lose 2 pounds every week – no excuses.  I should vacuum and dust, clean my condo perfectly every single weekend, even though I‘d rather be beat with a stick.  I work too late and the dog is alone too long – no more – leave the house at 7:15 and be back by 5:45 – no matter what.  I should only buy organic produce no matter what the cost.  I should be the most patient tolerant person on earth no matter what some angry misguided asshole says to me.   I should never go out for sushi or ever buy a magazine even if Terry Bradshaw is on the cover, and save every dime I have for retirement even though I could freaking drop dead tomorrow.  I should buckle down and peel the hated wallpaper in my living room and hallway and up the stairs even though it’s probably way too big a project for me to do by myself, because it will look tons better painted my favorite off white color.  I should keep my car clean so anyone who gets in it says this car looks like it‘s brand new.  I should recycle even though the company who empties the dumpsters at my condo dumps the garbage and the recycling bins all together into the same filthy truck.  I should try not to swear so much so I seem like a “lady“.  I should do the dishes every single night so I always get up to a clean kitchen, no matter how tired I am, no matter how late it is.  I should power wash my deck and seal it first thing in the spring so it looks nice all summer.  And I should not read one more book, even one more word until I’m done with every chore.  Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Hah!

So here my real New Year’s resolution.  I’m making one.  Only one.  I’ve been thinking about this for a while.  May I suggest you make the same one.

I’m going to try not to be so fucking hard on myself.

Geez.  I’m feeling better already.

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4 thoughts on “My New Year’s Resolution

  1. I agree wholeheartedly sista! (but I will help u with the wallpaper project and the deck sealing thing!)
    luv u my friend…and my beautiful new shawl!!

  2. I love how you write from the heart! I think (and have always thought) you are one of the funniest people I know. The kind of intelligent funny that makes me laugh from deep within. And that feels good! Happy New Year my friend!

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