The Battle of the Bulge

A friend asked me about Weight Watchers – anything I wanted to tell her.  I started thinking it was fodder for a blog post.  And I wrote this next paragraph before Thanksgiving.  Before I “fell off” the dieting wagon.  So here goes.

I go.  I weigh in.  Keeps me honest.  I eat very little of the prepared food.  Sometimes I keep a couple of packaged Weight Watchers dinners in the freezer for emergencies.  Or if I get up really late and don’t have time to make my lunch.  I eat cereal, skim milk and strawberries or banana for breakfast.  Or oatmeal or farina.  Or toast and apple sauce.  Or hard boiled egg(s).  I eat a lot of eggs.  Usually rice and vegetables for lunch.  Apples, clementines, raisins.  Big salads with cut up chicken, gorgonzola.  Baby carrots.  Popcorn.  A pork chop with a big pile of vegetables.  Tomatoes, mushrooms, capers over pasta.  I keep a box of chicken broth in the fridge all the time.  I use it in lieu of olive oil when I “saute” vegetables.  I make several days lunch at the same time.  Sometimes I pack as much as I can at night and just add the cold stuff in the A.M.   Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale.  I have ice cream every Saturday.  Its really flexible. And you will find your favorite things.  I do weigh and measure.  It gets easier all the time.  I’m used to it.  I am into it.  Keeping my eyes on the prize.  Is this good info?

So Thanksgiving.  Great week.  I blogged about it already.  I had a blast.  I had company and the week off and went out almost every night.  Met a friend for dinner Monday night.  Went out to lunch Tuesday and it was downhill from there.  Such a slippery slope.  I ate lots of stuff.  In addition to the piggy Thanksgiving dinner, I ate cereal snack, scones and butter, chocolate cream pie, fried dough pizza, chocolate brownie cheesecake, artichoke dip, lobster bisque, three-layer chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chopped up peanut butter cups in between and on top, need I say more.  You can be sure I didn’t bother to write any of it in my food diary.  CRASH.  CRASH.  CRASH.

I’m having an awful hard time getting back on the wagon.  I know I’ll do it but I’m struggling.  I have lost a ton (well 40 pounds) over the last year.  And I want to keep on going.  But it’s hard.  I’m an addict.  I want everything that tastes good or feels good.  Combine them, as in the case of wine for instance, and I’m a goner.

What to do.  What to do.  I don’t see this getting any easier through the next couple of weeks.  For instance, I am invited to – count ‘em – five Christmas parties on Saturday.  My sister and her family are coming to Connecticut a week from today and staying for more than a week.  I haven’t seen my nephew in over 2 years and I’m trying to remember how long its been since I’ve seen my niece – maybe 6 years?  Not to mention my sister and my FBIL (favorite brother-in-law).  Cookies and candy at work.  I feel like I’ve lost it.  Social life and food – so closely interwoven.  I went to a Christmas party last night.  I had the most decadent delicious delectable dessert.  It was a pie.  Bottom layer was peanut butter fudge, then a layer of chocolate mousse, topped with whipped cream and crushed peanut brittle.  It’s the chocolate.  I cheated and ate other stuff, but I didn’t go nuts – with the quantity anyway.  But I’ve let the devil chocolate back into my life and now I’ve got to fight to get him out.  I can say this one thing – there is no chocolate in my house.  That would be a disaster.  Oh yeah, I got a box of chocolates for my birthday.  Killed that off.  I can say one other good thing – at least I don’t drink alcohol.

Anyhow, I’m trying.  I was good all day today.  I was pretty good yesterday until dessert.  I was very good Sunday.  I was a little bad Saturday.  I’m trying to remember that this is a lifestyle change and I have to stick to my food plan as much as I am able.  I’m definitely a screwball in my brain.  But I’m very hopeful because I’m not mad at myself.  If I got down on me, I would probably really mess this up.  But I’m so self-analytical that I’m more curious than anything.  I believe if I just hang in there, my willpower will reappear and I’ll be back at it again.  That’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

But in the meantime…  Any suggestions?  Encouraging words?  Anything at all to give me a verbal slap up side my head?  To turn on the lightbulb in my brain?  I could sure use the help. 

My friend Susan made the one on the left.  I made the one on the right.  We can cook.  Yep.  We really can.

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One thought on “The Battle of the Bulge

  1. I wish I had something incredibly inspiring and motivating to say but the sad fact is I am right there with you. I am at that “certain age” where I can no longer eat what I want or just not eat for a day and maintain a good weight. Not to mention the tectonic plates of my body shifting around. Wasn’t “Back Fat” a movie? I try to eat well and walk my dog as much as possible. Exercise when I can or feel well enough to do it. I don’t use salt or eat much red meat or oil or fried food. Imagine if I did?! However, I do find myself eating crap when I feel low or emotional. Something I never used to do. Now, if I feel emotionally empty I feel the need to stuff my pie hole full of something bad – like chocolate or cheese (I love cheese – especially stinky blue). Yesterday my mom informed me she is bringing my favorite cream-cheese cookies for Christmas. I am going to go out and buy some stretchy pants today. I will eat the cookies, drink the Baileys and enjoy the Christmas season. Then I will start over.

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