Wrestling with the Alligator

From Wikipedia –  Alligators’ main prey are smaller animals that they can kill and eat with a single bite, such as fish.  Alligators may kill larger prey by grabbing and dragging it with them into the water to drown.  Alligators consume that which cannot be eaten in one bite by allowing it to rot or by biting and then spinning or convulsing wildly until bite size chunks are torn off.  This is referred to as a “death roll.”  Critical to the alligator’s ability to initiate a death roll, the tail must flex to a significant angle relative to its body.  An alligator with an immobilized tail cannot perform a death roll.

My alligator’s tail is not immobilized.

She wants me to be in her arms, in her death roll.  She loves me.

I argue with my alligator every day.

I talk to my alligator every day.

I try to reason with my alligator every day.

I loved my alligator from the first day we met.

Sometimes I hate my alligator.

One time I did not see my alligator for 15 years.  But one day I was weak and I opened the door to talk to her and she came back in and stayed for 10 years.

My alligator is like the boogie man under the bed.  She might reach out with her powerful head and jaws and drag me under into the darkness.

My alligator is cunning and wise.

My alligator never really leaves me.

My alligator has children who are everywhere and they are looking for me.  If they see me when I am alone and feeling vulnerable, they will call her on their alligator cell phones.  They are on every street, in most every home, in Maine, in Florida, in Paris, on airplanes and trains.  They are virtually everywhere.  Lots of people don’t even notice them but I do.  I am always vigilant because my alligator wants to hurt me and I have to watch out for her.

Most of the time I feel like my alligator cannot have me anymore.  She does not deserve me.

I miss my alligator like you miss the one love who tore out your heart.  Sadness and regret.

She is a wily and formidable foe, my alligator.  I think I can beat her.

One night I was driving home from work and I missed my alligator so much.  I saw her about a mile from my home but I kept driving.  It was hard.  I made a deal with myself.  I had to wait one hour and if I still needed her that bad when the time was up, I would go back and bring her home with me.  I know she will come any time I want her.  Our love will never really die.  I rode the wave that night and when the hour had passed, I realized I could live without her.  That day.

Most of you know my alligator.  She has others.  She is not faithful only to me.  She is all colors and she smells so good.  Her perfume is like no other.

She goes by many names:  Finlandia-Pinot Grigio-Saint Emilion-Red Hook and Long Trail-very dry Tanqueray martini on the rocks with blue cheese stuffed olives-Black Russian-Cosmopolitan-Calvados I hated it but I drank it because Monsieur Tahir gave it to me in Paris.

I will do the best I can to stave off my alligator.  I will try to never open my door to her again.